A major heading on the front page of our daily newspaper caught my interest, “What is the measure of a full life?” Turned out it was a wraparound advertising page for resthome living! Apparently living in a particular retirement village is the measure of a full life.
This is the time of the year when new resolutions are made, and if you’re inclined, some review of the past year is taken. I’ve never been much drawn to either, but if I was then I’d use Christ the King Sunday (the end of the Church year) rather than the end of the calendar year to make my choices. But it’s hard to avoid the lists of the “best of…” or “worst of…” 2022 that seem to be the birthright of every journalist and critic.
How should I measure my year?
Is there any point to trying to do so? Should I make a ledger of the good and bad decisions I made and see where the balance falls? What makes one decision a good one, and another a bad one? One life-event good and another bad?
As a follower of Jesus how should I measure my life? And in the context of my life, how should I measure the past year?
If being a Christian – following Jesus – isn’t primarily about being “saved” (and it isn’t), isn’t about going to heaven when I die (and it isn’t), isn’t about living a better, more moral life (and it isn’t), isn’t about “sinning” less (and it isn’t), in fact isn’t about anything I do (and it definitely isn’t), and if God is nothing like Santa Claus (and God isn’t) then “making a list and checking it twice” (https://genius.com/Christmas-songs-santa-claus-is-coming-to-town-lyrics) is absolutely no help at all in measuring my year. In fact to do so would be sin (or HPtFTU to use Spufford’s definition of such. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/what-sin-really-is-the-hu_b_4164852)
God doesn’t want my relationship measured in such a way. (For some reason nor does my wife want our relationship measured in that way.)
“Don’t Look Up”, a provoking 2021 movie about the end of our world by asteroid, closes with an extended family gathered around their dinner table for the last time. Yule, played by Timothee Chalamet, prays on their behalf
Dearest Father and almighty Creator,
We ask for your grace tonight, despite our pride.
Your forgiveness, despite our doubt.
Most of all Lord, we ask for your love
To soothe us through these dark times.
May we face whatever is to come in your divine will
With courage and open hearts of acceptance.
Amen.
(Note: Capitalisation and line breaks are mine. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z6LjBU1P7fs For a bit more context the final few minutes of the movie are here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-zv5Cvg6pM and if you watch the whole movie make sure you do so until the very end of the credits.)
Yule’s prayer reflects a relationship with God. A relationship that holds good even with the end of the world imminent.
The measure of a relationship that brings flourishing
I think that’s the only way to measure a year, or a life: has my relationship with God grown deeper, broader, more meaningful, more necessary?
If all of humanity was created to flourish (and it was), and that flourishing is only fully realised in an ongoing, deepening relationship with God (and it is), then my year can only be measured by the growing (or not) length and depth and breadth of my relationship with God.
2022 isn’t measured by the shock of my wife’s cancer diagnosis, or the year-long emotional and physical rollercoaster that followed, my generosity gone bad when I added petrol to my friend’s diesel truck, the long tail of grief from the deaths of several good friends, or my frequent feelings of anxiety, spuddling (old English not new urban), languishing and depression as I try to figure out what lockdowns and life with Covid-19 means.
Neither is it measured by the outcomes of any of those events, nor how I responded to them. None of them make it a bad year.
Human flourishing takes place not in spite of the set-backs, but because of them. How I respond to what life throws at me (large and small, but mostly small) shapes my relationship with God. I need to measure my year not in anything I did, but in how my love life went – my life with the Beloved who loves me and wants me to become the person I was created to be. That is flourishing.
A contemporary Advent hymn I love was written by a Kiwi. Richard O’Brien wrote,
In the velvet darkness
Of the blackest night
Burning bright, there’s a guiding star
No matter what, or who you are
There’s a light
There’s a light
There’s a light, light
In the darkness of everybody’s life
It doesn’t appear in any hymnbook and is unlikely to have been sung in any church. Anywhere. But it sums up the biblical narrative we celebrate at Christmas and points us toward the source of a flourishing life, the only aspect of life worth measuring. (“There’s a Light (Over At the Frankenstein Place)” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vK2u4y7J58I)
Named as part of the family
January 1, New Year’s Day, is the Feast of the Holy Name in the church calendar. It celebrates the naming of Mary’s child as Jesus who is the prophesied Light of my World. It places him in a family, gives him a place to belong – one that he has done nothing to make happen and which will bring him much pain and suffering in adult life. We too are named as part of that family. I’ve decided that what I do with and to that relationship is the measure of my year. I think it’s the only measure God is interested in.
But can flourishing be measured? Perhaps not. Certainly not easily. But maybe that’s the whole point. Its about being committed to a pilgrimage rather than arriving at a destination.
I’m writing on Epiphany Day, which starts the season when we celebrate the appearing of the Magi, the astrologers, at Jesus’ manger-side. They were there because they had an epiphany – they saw an unusual star and followed it where it took them – eventually to an encounter with Jesus. Epiphanies can happen to us at any time. They always call for a response. To miss them or ignore them is to lose an opportunity to deepen our relationship with the Trinitarian community of God who loves us and wants only what is best for us. An opportunity for growth toward greater flourishing.
“Wake us to your presence Lord, that we might not waste our times of trial.” (“Common prayer: a liturgy for ordinary radicals”, Shane Claiborne. p.531)
Come on 2023, give it your best shot! Whatever happens to me in 2023 isn’t a measure of my faith. They will be opportunities to see God at work in my life pushing me deeper into that relationship and the deeper flourishing that can be the outcome.
Have a very beneficial year. I hope to.